The race to get married is everywhere. Who knew a lifelong commitment was something people want to rush into. When you are single, and at a certain age, people (generally the married/committed ones) assume one of two things:

1) That there must be something wrong with you. You must be crazy/off/have some sort of baggage/be mean/unintelligent and all this is especially true if you are deemed as "pretty."

2.) Or my favorite, that you must have no clue how to date. Not for one moment do they think... That you're just waiting for that nice guy. Yes, and authentically, amazingly, ridiculously, nice guy. And let me tell you, being a nice guy does not mean you finish last. What's a nice guy you ask?! Well, let me tell you!

All you need to remember is the acronym HIM.

H-Hungry for The Lord: He is constantly in the word--sharing it every time he has an opportunity. He does not use the word to push his own agenda, but rather to create a healthy relationship. He doesn't just state that he is a Christian, he actually lives it. He is reminded that all of life's actions are surrounded in Him. He just gets it! Without Christ, no relationship can survive and he both acknowledges this verity and welcomes it. Among many other attributes he is:

  • Not prideful. He is not cut down from disagreements because disagreements, as long as they are healthy, are the gateway to a new understanding. To him, it is not important that he is right and the other person is wrong, rather it is an opportunity to show tact and grace.

  • Humble. He is not intimidated by a woman who is successful because he knows that strong Godly men need strong Godly women. He is tactful in the way he delivers any given messages. He realizes that an emotion (not matter how passionate or "right" that emotion is) is not a justification for acting egregiously towards someone. For that reason, he has a tight rein on his tongue.

I-Intentional: Every action he makes; he is mindful of what it means to the woman. His intentions are pure and because of this he is not "in the moment," rather he is in the big picture. He knows that a moment is just a second of instant gratification and he want to live for deeper truths. He shows restraint in the flesh because he realizes it's the responsibility of both the man and the woman. He does not go into a relationship out of looks, convenience, or loneliness, but instead because he knows it is Christ-led. Because he is intentional, he enters a relationship knowing he should make his relationship a convivial priority. He is intentional because he realizes that a man is as good as his word. He means what he says and he says what he means--face-to-face style.

M-Mature: He is mature and because of that he realizes that a relationship is not self-centered/seeking. He actively seeks to reaches out because he knows that a growing mature relationship needs consistent and constant meaningful conversation. He does not feel obligated to do this, but more than glad to. He is mature enough to rely on his own merit/character/two feet and does not need any substance(s) to enhance/relax him. He can do it on his own. His personality is extension of nothing else but him and The Lord and people, friends and/or substance(s) do not improperly influence him. Because he is mature, he is realistic. His ideals are not surrounded by obligatory relationship constructs, like "putting you best foot forward" or the "honeymoon stage." Instead, he would rather just date the real you--all inclusive. He realizes that relationships are magnificent, but they are sometime gritty too (that's in the beginning and till the end). He is not into the appearance of things, flashing money or status when he can because he realizes that not all that glitters is gold. He doesn't seek to be vindicated as a man by being in the company of woman outside the relationship. Instead he realizes that great men aren't measured by the amount people who lust/like/accompany them, but rather because of his character. Last, he realizes that it is important to date, with a hunger for The Lord as an intentional and mature Christian.

Now before you ask what authority or research do I have to make such a claim, I'll say this,

"I'm just a normal, professional, Godly woman who has made her fair share of mistakes **Exhales** However, as painful and a plentiful my mistakes have been, I have learned a lot along the way. Regardless of right or wrong, I respect God's authority and protection. I also have absolute faith that with patience, this "HIM" guy will come.

#photo #dating #him #niceguy #Lord #IntentionalDating

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Serah Dunphy